


Scotch Mist

by Rachel500



Series: Aftershocks [51]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Episode Tag, Friendship, Gen, Grief, S3 Aftershocks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-06-01
Updated: 2008-06-01
Packaged: 2017-10-20 00:12:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/206724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rachel500/pseuds/Rachel500
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TAG to Past & Present</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scotch Mist

Daniel Jackson sat down in the middle of the sidewalk and wondered where he had gone wrong. He stared at the empty street, desolate apart from the lights that lit the tarmac and concrete in an eerie orange glow. He checked his watch; three a.m. No wonder it was desolated. He gave a drunken giggle and dropped his head into his hands. What had possessed him to open the bottle of scotch? He didn't even like scotch. He had drunk a little too much and had decided it was a good idea to take a walk before he went to bed; just to clear his head. He had been walking for an hour and couldn't find his apartment.

'Think!' He commanded himself out loud. He had just moved into a new apartment. Somehow Sha're had picked it out of all the apartments he had viewed when she had sent him a message through a hand device. He had moved into it thinking it would make him feel closer to her. If only he could remember _where_ his apartment was…

He sighed. He had returned to the apartment at the end of a long day at the SGC. A long day that involved watching a woman he had cared about lose all memory of their time together and return to a planet where he would never see her again. He had cared about her even after he had found out she wasn't who he had thought she was. He took his glasses off and rubbed at his tired eyes.

His emotions were all over the place. Thoughts of Sha're mixed up with Ke'ra, or rather Linea. He laughed out loud, an edge away from hysteria. He had fallen for the Destroyer of Worlds. What a joke! Fallen? Jack had used the same word with him but…Daniel shook his head. He didn't know what he had felt for Ke'ra. Sure, he'd noticed she was attractive; had admired her strength and dedication to her people. He'd liked her. A lot. Enough to respond to her kiss; enough to crawl into bed with her and…

Guilt swamped him.

Sha're wasn't even cold in the ground, he thought harshly, and he had already betrayed her. All he could think about was another woman and getting between her legs. Forget Sha're, his wife, he mused bitterly; out with the old and in with the new. He smacked his head with both hands.

'Stupid! Stupid!' He yelled into the empty street. He rocked back and forth against the crushing weight of grief. He was oblivious to the growl of the car engine as the vehicle made its way down the road, slowing at the sight of him until it stopped just beside him. The two uniformed cops emerged from their car warily.

'You OK, buddy?' One asked cautiously.

Daniel looked up sharply at the unexpected voice but he didn't get up. He took in the uniform and the mature man inside it. 'Uh.' Not his most eloquent reply, he considered ruefully. 'Hello, Officer.' His eyes caught on the second cop; younger, more of an attitude with blonde hair neatly trimmed. He preferred the slightly rumpled appearance of the older one. 'Officers.' He corrected.

'You have id?' The second cop asked briskly.

'Sure.' Daniel patted his jacket pocket. He pulled out his wallet. 'In here.' He handed his driving licence to them.

'So, Doctor Jackson,' the first cop crouched in front of him and waved the license at him, 'you want to tell us why you're sat out on the sidewalk at three in the morning?'

'That's a good question.' Daniel wagged a finger at him and his eyes caught on the silver name tag. 'Officer Cadel. You know you can call me Daniel.'

'Sure.' Cadel said agreeably, exchanging a look with his partner.

'I'm lost.' Daniel admitted. 'You see I jus' moved.' His words slurred. 'Had a few drinks…someone gave me scotch as a house-warming present.' He frowned. 'I don't know why because I don't drink scotch. Well, obviously I do because I'm here but usually, I don't drink scotch, well anything really.' He stumbled to a halt and looked up quizzically at the cop. 'What was the question?'

'You've just moved and had a few drinks and then…' The second cop prompted.

'I thought some air would be good.' Daniel continued, waving a hand at them. 'I started walking and then…'

'You got lost.' Cadel completed.

'You got an address, buddy?' His partner asked. 'We'll give you a lift home.'

Daniel laughed nervously. 'Well, that's the thing.' He wrapped his hands around his torso. 'I can't remember.'

'You can't remember?' Cadel repeated.

'I mean I remember, it's not like I have amnesia or anything.' For some reason he found that hysterically funny and burst into laughter. It took a moment to recover. 'Sorry,' he gasped, 'I can't remember where I live. I mean, I remember my old address and the names of all the Egyptian Kings, how to say my name is Daniel in about twenty different languages but not…that. My address.'

'OK.' Cadel sighed. 'Why don't we take you down the station and you can sleep it off in a cell?' He nodded at the other cop. 'Greer, get him on his feet.'

Daniel held up his hand, resigned to his fate, and Greer yanked him into a standing position.

'Woah.' Daniel said as he swayed.

Greer grabbed hold of him. 'You OK.'

'Jack.' Daniel said suddenly.

'Jack?' Cadel asked slowly.

Daniel nodded quickly. 'My friend.' He smiled hesitantly. 'He knows where I live.' He leaned toward Cadel conspiratorially. 'He helped me move.' He confided.

'Right.' Cadel nodded wearily. 'You know where he lives?'

'Sure.' Daniel rattled off Jack's address.

Cadel looked at him for a long moment, taking in Daniel's appearance. Daniel stayed still and hoped he would pass whatever inspection Cadel was putting him through.

'OK.' Cadel nodded as if coming to some internal decision. 'Let's hope this friend is one who likes getting disturbed in the middle of the night.'

'Shouldn't we take him to the station?' Greer said, frowning.

'Relax, Greer.' Cadel gestured at Daniel, who tried to look innocent. 'He's obviously not a bum.' He opened the back door of the car and waved Daniel inside.

'Thank you.' Daniel said as he settled into his seat and the cops got back in the front. 'I really appreciate it.'

'No problem.' Cadel pulled away and the car made its way down the empty street. His eyes glanced at Daniel via the rear view mirror. 'So, what's the story? Women trouble?'

Daniel leaned forward. 'How did you know?'

Cadel laughed. 'It's the only thing that drives me to scotch.' He halted for a red light and glanced back. 'So, who was she?'

'Which one?' Daniel blurted out. He flushed uncomfortably.

'Oh.' Cadel smiled knowingly. 'More than one. Well, there's your trouble right there.'

'No,' Daniel rushed to explain, 'it's not really like that. You see my wife was stolen away from me by…' he frowned knowing he couldn't say Apophis; what did Jack call him? 'A snake-head.' He said it out loud without thinking.

'Women fall for that slick type all the time.' Cadel said sympathetically.

'She was beautiful.' Daniel slumped back in the car seat, his mind drifting back. 'She had such beautiful eyes. So dark and…dark.'

'Right.' Cadel agreed, exchanging a look of amusement with Greer.

'I killed her.'

Cadel's eyes flew to the back of the car. 'Excuse me?'

'I killed her.' Daniel repeated tearfully. 'I let him steal her and now she's dead.'

'She's dead?' Cadel repeated. The light changed but he didn't move the car.

'She died.' Daniel blinked back tears. 'And it's all my fault. If I hadn't let him steal her, she wouldn't have died.'

Cadel relaxed, figuring that Daniel hadn't actually killed his wife. He noticed the green light, pulled away. 'That's tough.'

'Tough.' Daniel sighed and covered his face with his hands. 'And then I slept with the Destroyer of Worlds.' He mumbled.

'The Destroyer of Worlds?' Greer grinned. 'Sounds like my ex-wife.'

'I was an idiot.' Daniel said. 'Just because I felt something for the first time since Sha're had died.' He frowned. 'I don't know why I'm telling you this.'

'Don't worry.' Cadel advised. 'You'd be surprised what people tell us.' He made a turn. 'This the right street?'

'Yeah.' Daniel pointed at Jack's driveway. 'That one.' He was tired, he realised. He just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep.

Cadel pulled to a stop and they all got out of the car. Greer eschewed the door bell and knocked loudly. There didn't seem to be a reply so he did it again. A light appeared and the front door was yanked open.

A grumpy looking Jack O'Neill glowered at them.

Daniel smiled weakly, taking in Jack's sleepwear of t-shirt and boxers; his ruffled hair that was sticking out of his head at strange angles and the look of annoyed irritation that was giving way to concerned bemusement. 'Jack.'

'Daniel.' Jack gestured at the officers either side of the archaeologist. 'What's going on?'

Daniel opened his mouth to explain and felt his stomach revolt. His eyes widened in realisation as the taste of bile hit the back of his throat. 'Uh-oh.' He slapped a hand over his mouth.

Jack yanked him in the house and half-marched, half-shoved him into the bathroom. Daniel stumbled to kneel at the toilet, retching loudly. He was oblivious to Jack wincing behind him as he wet a towel at the sink. Daniel finished bringing up the contents of his stomach and flushed the toilet. Jack handed him the damp towel and Daniel clumsily cleaned himself of the spatters of vomit.

'Sorry.' Daniel said, closing his eyes. 'I think I might have had a little too much to, uh, drink.'

'Beer?' Jack asked delicately.

'Scotch.' Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose. 'That bottle Siler gave me.'

'Siler, Siler, Siler.' Jack muttered.

'I went for a walk and couldn't remember where I lived. The new place.' Daniel sighed. 'I've made such a mess.'

'Don't worry about it.' Jack said simply. 'I can clean up.'

'Not this.' Daniel gave a short laugh. 'I meant the rest of my life. Sha're. Ke'ra. I'm a bad person.'

Jack sighed and sat down beside him on the bathroom floor. 'You're not a bad person.'

'I am.' Daniel insisted. 'First woman who comes along and makes me feel…' he searched for a word and failed to find one, 'makes me feel,' he amended, 'and she turns out to be Linea.'

Jack pulled a face at his words. 'You couldn't have known, Daniel.'

'I had sex with her.' Daniel confessed.

'So didn't need to know that.' Jack replied with a grimace.

'I'm so tired, Jack.' Daniel said quietly.

Jack nodded at him. 'You think you can make it to the bedroom?'

'Yeah.' Daniel pushed off the bathroom floor and Jack moved to steady him. Daniel was grateful for the support as they made their way down the hallway to the spare room. Daniel sat on the bed heavily.

'You should get undressed.' Jack advised. 'I'll get you a glass of water.'

Daniel nodded blearily. He put his glasses safely on the bedside table before he shuffled out of his jacket and toed his sneakers off. His fingers wouldn't cooperate with the snaps of his jeans and he swore, yanking at them until they gave way. He kicked the denim into the corner of the room along with his boxers and pulled his buttoned shirt over his head. He climbed between the cool cotton sheets and sighed in appreciation. He was asleep before he could form another coherent thought.

o-O-o

Jack placed the glass of water on the table beside the bed and sighed at the sight of Daniel curled up fast asleep with the sheet pulled up over him. He pulled the trash can over to the edge of the bed and switched the light off on his way out.

The murmur of voices and the chill in the hallway reminded him of the cops still stood at the door. He made his way back to them tiredly.

'He OK?' Cadel asked, concerned.

'Threw up.' Jack said succinctly. 'He should be fine.' He gave an apologetic smile. 'It's really not like him to do something like this but he's going through a hard time right now. His wife just died.'

'Yeah, he told us.' Cadel said gruffly. 'He said some snake stole her too.'

Jack was grateful for the years of black ops that allowed him to hide his surprise and the sudden rush of fear that Daniel had just given away classified information. 'I'm sorry?'

'He explained how his wife got stolen by some snake, died and he slept with the…what did he call her?' Cadel asked Greer.

'Destroyer of Worlds.' Greer put in. He smiled at Jack. 'I'm thinking of calling my ex that.'

Jack could only blink back at him, speechless.

'Hey, my ex ran off with a snake too.' Cadel said with a laugh. 'If anyone is calling their ex Destroyer of Worlds, it's me.' He smiled at Jack. 'You hear what I'm saying.'

Jack relaxed as he realised the cops had taken Daniel's literal descriptions metaphorically. 'Absolutely.' He gave a pained smile. 'Well, if you gentlemen will excuse me…'

'Of course.' Cadel said. 'We'll leave you to it.'

'Thanks for bringing Daniel.' Jack said politely as they turned away.

'All part of the service.' Cadel quipped.

Jack watched as the officers headed back to the car and he waited until the police vehicle disappeared from view. He closed his front door and threw the lock. He padded back down the hallway, stopping to check on Daniel again briefly before he returned to his own room and climbed back into bed.

He stared at the ceiling. Damn. He had known Daniel had gotten close to Ke'ra…Linea…Ke'ra but he didn't think it had gone that far. Their Jaffa team-mate Teal'c had and Jack had dismissed the idea; so had the fourth member of SG1, Samantha Carter. Both she and Jack had been convinced that although Daniel had cared about Ke'ra that he was still too cut-up about Sha're to take their relationship any further than friendship.

Jack turned over abruptly and pressed his face into his pillow. He was angry at himself for not spotting how far it had gone. He'd tried to warn Daniel not to get too involved, tried to stop him from being hurt. It was a damn shame Ke'ra had turned out to be Linea even he could see how well the two of them had clicked. He sighed. He'd seen how devastated Daniel had been about Ke'ra being Linea; how sad he'd been about Ke'ra leaving with no memory of him. He should never have let Daniel go home alone. He'd known when the other man had left the SGC something wasn't right with him but he'd accepted Daniel's brush-off when the younger man had insisted he was OK. God only knew what had possessed Daniel to open the scotch; the archaeologist was a complete light-weight when it came to alcohol.

That Daniel had been drinking at all worried Jack. He'd spent the weeks and days following his son's death in a drunken stupor and he didn't want Daniel to go down that road. It wasn't a good one. Clearly Daniel wasn't dealing with everything as well as he had made out and he obviously hadn't wanted to ask for help. Jack closed his eyes. Well, Daniel was going to get help whether he wanted it or not, he thought determinedly. It was his last thought before sleep reclaimed him.

o-O-o

It was the clatter of pots and pans that woke Daniel. He stretched and grimaced at the sour taste in his mouth. He reached for the water by his bed and drank greedily. He glanced around the room and frowned as he recognised the furniture and layout. How had he ended up at Jack's? He ignored the pounding in his head and tried to think back. He remembered leaving the base…he remembered getting to his apartment and listlessly finishing his unpacking. He remembered wanting to avoid the bedroom where he had dreamed of being with Sha're, the rush of guilt about his sleeping with Ke'ra. He remembered the bottle of scotch. He groaned and rubbed a hand over his face. The rest of it was a blur.

He focused on the chair by the bedroom door where Jack had evidently placed clean towels, a disposable razor and a toothbrush. He shoved the covers back and gingerly got to his feet. He gathered everything up and realised he couldn't see any clothes. Jack must have gathered them up to launder them, Daniel mused as he opened the door and slipped out quickly, darting naked across the hallway and into the bathroom.

The shower and shave revived him a little, reducing the pounding headache to a nagging pain. He wrapped the towel around his waist and headed back to the bedroom. He found his clothes neatly folded on top of a stripped bed. His lips twitched. Jack could be very military about his place at times. The welcome scent of coffee drifted up from a cup by the bed and Daniel pounced on it along with the two aspirin beside it. He drank in large slurps as he dressed. Finally, he ran out of things to do and realised he was going to have to face his friend eventually. He took a deep breath and left the safety of Jack's spare room.

Jack was in the kitchen by the stove. He looked up as Daniel stood hesitantly in the doorway, holding his empty mug.

'Morning.' Jack waved a spatula at him. 'I'm making you some breakfast.'

'That's OK.' Daniel said quickly, feeling his stomach clench queasily at the idea, 'I'll just grab another cup of coffee.' He held up the mug.

Jack took it from him and refilled it. He handed it back. 'Go and sit at the table. This is almost ready.'

Daniel glared at him mutinously but Jack held his gaze evenly.

'Trust me, Daniel.' Jack said. 'You'll feel better once you've eaten.'

The archaeologist gave in gracelessly and made his way to the dining room. He sat down; Jack had already set the table for two. He felt a moment of contrition as Jack wandered in his hands filled with two plates. He set one down in front of Daniel. It was a plain omelette with a slice of bread and butter on the side. Daniel gave a sigh of relief and reached for his knife and fork. Maybe he could handle some food.

'So,' Jack said after they had eaten most of the meal, 'you want to talk about what happened last night?'

'Not really.' Daniel muttered, keeping his eyes glued to his plate.

'Do you even remember _what_ happened last night?' Jack shoved his clean plate away and reached for his own coffee.

'Why?' Daniel repeated. 'Does it matter?' He looked down and pushed a fragment of omelette from one side of his plate to another.

'You drowned your sorrows in a bottle of scotch.' Jack said bluntly.

Daniel flushed. 'Yes, so…'

'Went for a walk,' Jack continued, 'got lost because you couldn't find your new place and two cops brought you here.'

The faint memory of the back of a car and two uniformed men teased at Daniel's mind. His blush deepened; the red was stark against his otherwise pale cheeks. 'I remember.'

'You remember telling them your wife got stolen by a snake and that you slept with the Destroyer of Worlds?' Jack continued without sympathy.

Daniel's shocked gaze met his. 'I…what?'

'You told them your wife got stolen by a snake and that you slept with the Destroyer of Worlds.' Jack repeated.

Panic stole into Daniel's blue eyes. 'I…I…'

'Relax.' Jack regarded Daniel over the rim of his mug. 'They thought you were using metaphors. They didn't realise you were stating the absolute truth.'

Daniel breathed a sigh of relief; he hadn't given up any official secrets. 'I'm sorry.'

'Why the scotch?' Jack asked again.

'It seemed like a good idea at the time.' Daniel shot back.

Jack raised an eyebrow in a fair imitation of their Jaffa team-mate. 'Daniel, you need to talk about this.'

'No, I don't.' Daniel didn't bother hiding his surprise at Jack's comment.

'Yes, you do.' Jack corrected. 'And it's me or Mackenzie.' He threatened casually.

For the second time, Daniel's eyes flew to meet his in shock.

Jack looked back at him determinedly and Daniel realised with a sinking feeling that Jack meant it. No wonder, thought Daniel resignedly; Jack was probably concerned Daniel was going to compromise the SGC after what he'd done when he was drunk.

'I promise not to drink anymore scotch.' Daniel said, still trying to avoid any further discussion.

'Well, that's a start,' agreed Jack, 'but I think you probably need to deal with why you picked the scotch up in the first place.' His tone was resolute.

Daniel stared at him for a long moment. 'Why? You wouldn't.'

'You're right.' Jack said easily. 'I wouldn't but, see, I have this annoying friend who would probably bug me until I did.'

'I'm not that bad.' Daniel denied passionately.

'I was talking about Teal'c.' Jack said blandly.

Daniel caught the hint of mischief in Jack's warm brown gaze and laughed. It broke the tension between them. Daniel sighed and pushed his plate away. 'You'd really report me to Mackenzie?'

'Probably not.' Jack admitted. 'But given I had to report you were sick today, Fraiser's likely to start asking questions all by herself soon.'

'Why, what time is it?' Daniel asked suddenly.

'Around eleven.' Jack informed him briskly.

Daniel groaned and dropped his head into his hands. 'We missed…'

'Like I said I phoned the base and told them you were sick after some bad take-out and I was staying home to keep an eye on you.' Jack reassured him. 'Hammond sent Sam and Teal'c on the mission with SG3.'

'Sorry.' Daniel apologised again. 'You shouldn't have to cover for me.'

Jack shrugged. 'You want to tell me why you hit the scotch now?'

Daniel knew he probably owed the other man an explanation after turning up on his doorstep in the middle of the night and all the military man had done for him since Sha're's death. 'I just wanted to feel numb, I guess.' He confessed. He looked up at the ceiling, anywhere but Jack. He grimaced. 'Wipe away a few recent memories, I guess.'

'The mess with Linea and, uh, sleeping with Ke'ra.' Jack concluded. He kept his own gaze well averted from the archaeologist.

The heat of a blush filled Daniel's face.

'You didn't do anything wrong.' Jack said quietly, his eyes flickering back to Daniel. 'You're single; she was single. You didn't know she was Linea at the time.' The last statement held a hint of a question and Daniel dropped his gaze to glare at Jack.

'Of course, I didn't know she was Linea when I…when we…' he scowled.

'Well, there you go.' Jack leaned back in his chair and waved at him.

'Sha're just died.' Daniel said heatedly.

Jack nodded. 'And you feel guilty about sleeping with someone else.'

He said it so matter-of-factly that Daniel blinked. 'Yes.'

'I understand that's a pretty natural reaction.' Jack stated as he wrapped his hands around his mug.

There was an awkward silence.

'Look, Daniel,' Jack began eventually, 'if you were the one who had died, would you have wanted Sha're to spend the rest of her life alone?'

'Jack, don't.' Daniel held up his hand. He stared at the table. 'Don't give me the clichés that Sha're would want me to move on with my life, that time is a great healer and I'll love someone again in the future.'

'OK,' Jack retorted, 'if you stop beating yourself up over what happened.'

'It's not just about Sha're.' Daniel crossed his arms over his chest and shifted restlessly on the chair. 'I used her. Ke'ra, I mean.'

'So you're feeling guilty about that too?' Jack sighed. 'Daniel, I know you cared about her. Dammit, you stepped in front of a gun for her.'

Daniel smiled sadly. 'It's just the way I feel. You can't fix this, Jack.'

'No.' Jack muttered. 'I guess not.' He had, at least, tried. He put his mug down on the table. 'I'll take you home or,' he said, catching Daniel's frown, 'we could grab some of your stuff, and you could stay here for a few days.'

Daniel looked at him suspiciously.

'No pressure.' Jack said quickly. 'Just somewhere to stay for a few days.'

Daniel shook his head. 'Thanks but I should go.'

Jack nodded. 'OK.'

They cleared away and left Jack's house. The drive was short and it wasn't too long before Jack pulled up outside the apartment building. Daniel released his seat belt and reached for the door handle.

'Daniel.' Jack stopped him. 'Look, I'm obviously not really good at all this talking about everything stuff but if you need to, you know where I am.'

Daniel gave a small smile. 'I think you're better at it than you think, Jack.' He said. He stepped out of the truck and closed the door, leaning back through the open window. 'Thanks for…'

'No problem.' Jack cut him off. 'Just…no more talking to cops, OK?'

'OK.' Daniel agreed readily. He tapped the truck in farewell and made his way into the building. He opened the apartment door and stepped into the space with some trepidation.

It was neat and tidy. The bottle of scotch stood mockingly on the kitchen counter beside the glass he had used. He pulled a face and marched into the kitchen. He twisted the cap off and poured the rest of the bottle down the sink before he threw it in the trash. He made a pot of coffee and wandered into his small living room with a cup filled to the brim of the bitter liquid. He placed it on the coffee table and retrieved the picture of Sha're he had set on one of the side-tables before he sat down in a chair.

'I'm sorry, Sha're.' Daniel said quietly to the picture he held. He gave a wobbly smile. 'And I know you'd forgive me, want me to find someone else but I feel like I betrayed you and that's just the way I feel.' He paused. 'You would have liked Ke'ra, I think. She…she offered me some comfort and I took it. Maybe that was wrong, I don't know.'

He silently admitted that a part of him was relieved she had been Linea; that she had erased her memories again and had no knowledge of their brief time together; that he wouldn't have to admit to her that he had liked her, he had liked her a lot but that he had used her to forget his pain for a little while.

'I just…' Daniel's eyes welled with tears and they fell unbidden down his cheeks as his fingers traced over Sha're's picture; over her face; the shape of her brow, her lips. 'I miss you. I really miss you.'

The picture was silent but as the afternoon sun flooded the room, Daniel felt the weight of guilt that had lodged inside him loosen and dissipate. He closed his eyes and clutched the picture closer. His future could wait; all he wanted was the past.

fin.


End file.
